When I went to college, the easiest way to make a little cash while still going to school was to work as a waiter. Considering many people make a full living out of it, this was a great way for me to make ends meet while I settled on a “real job.”
Such is the optimism of youth. I never found the real job that appealed to me, and continued to work as a server for 22 years. For most of that time, it was just a thing I did. I was a waiter, but it was almost like I didn’t want to acknowledge that I was a waiter.
I eventually moved up to manager, but to this day, I have fallen back to and relied on many of the various people skills I learned working as a server for 25-40 hours a week for two decades. I have discovered that these lessons have served me, pun intended, in every facet of my life—and they can for you too.
Here are some of those lessons.
Be Interested To Be Interesting
Have you ever had a server who clearly just didn’t give a crap? Of course you have. It’s so common, it’s a defining characteristic of the occupation. It is like you’re being served by a robot. I’m going to guess you didn’t tip the android serving you too well, nor should you have.
The fact is the way to be interesting is to BE interested. What is everyone’s favorite topic? Themselves of course. Ask questions. Pay attention to who you’re serving or interacting with. Listen to them. Fight down the urge to interrupt. Don’t plan out what you’re going to say in advance.
And show them you’re interested by making eye contact, giving them a firm (but not too firm) handshake, asking for their name—and remember it! Corollary to the above: what is everyone’s favorite word? Their name!
You will find that if you engage yourself completely with the people you are greeting, not only will they like you more and be interested in you, but you yourself will have a lot more fun as well.
Take The Blame
“Sorry the food took so long; the kitchen is really behind today.”
Maybe it’s true. Maybe it’s not. It doesn’t really matter. What people hear when they are told something like this is, “Excuse.” And you know what they say about excuses.
Most people don’t want to know why. They just want you to fix it. Don’t hide from people when you make a mistake. Own up to it, and tell them how you are going to address it. And then go do it.
It works even better internally if you take blame for everything, even when you couldn’t possibly have had an effect on it. It’s a mindset shift to be sure, but consider this. If you have a problem that was created by someone else and you just blame them, what can you do to fix it? Nothing. Wouldn’t it be better to take control of what you can and put yourself in a position to change things, rather than sitting there, powerless to act?
Be Authentic
This really goes with everything, not just customer service. Be a REAL person. Your customers, your friends, your partners, whoever, they know you’re human, and they will correctly presume you have your share of human problems. Don’t put on a fake smile and ac t like everything is all hunky dory. You won’t connect with anyone if they think you’re hiding things and not being straight with them. They won’t trust you if you don’t let them see the real you.
Now that doesn’t mean unloading all of your problems on them. They won’t want that either. Then you’re just Captain Bring Down, and no one wants to be around that guy.
There is a balance it. Focus on what is going good or on the good in your interaction with others. Have fun in the moment, even if in reality your life is in shambles (or at least flying through turbulent weather). What else can you do right now but enjoy right now? The past is done, the future is not here yet. Be in the present and let those worries come when they need to be addressed.
Play With The Kids
This is family specific, but when I was serving, there was nothing I enjoyed more than joking around with the kids. Or telling kid related jokes to the parents. Nothing feels as good as making a child laugh, or seeing them locked into you, no shame in their curiosity about just what in the heck this weird big human is doing.
By engaging with the kids, for at least a moment, you relieve from their parents the constant attentions they must give their children. Of course, they love them more than anything in the world and would do anything for their children, but parenting is hard work. You are their relief, however briefly. If they know their kids are happy, they are happy.
And it’s a two way road. Children go through life with an amazing ability to focus on the present and not get bogged down with stuff that isn’t right in front of them. Their curiosity and willing happiness and friendliness are infectious. Take advantage of the boost while you can.
Engage Senior Citizens
Anyone with serving experience knows how you can get roped into a long conversation with an older guest. This happens at family get-togethers, too. You’re anxious to change the subject or move on, but social convention keeps you rooted in spot, unable to politely extricate yourself from the conversation.
The problem here isn’t the conversation. It is your mindset about it. You go in with expectations that it won’t be an interesting talk. You discard it before you give it a chance. And you ignore that you have a live human being in front of you who is seeking connection.
Many older people have a lot of interesting things to say, and experiences to share. They have wisdom to give that can benefit you. And they have been through a lot—life is long and they have lived it. They know things that you generally only learn from experience. Wouldn’t it be better to take in their experience and learn from them, instead of going through it the hard way?
Plus, you will put a smile on their face that gives you glimpses of the beautiful people they once were, if they believe you are interested and you care. In a way, older people return to that same childlike innocence I speak of above. They are past the point of caring what people think and only want to experience joy in the moment.