I went into work and, for a moment, pretty much lost my shit.
Totally went into a stew and rage. Not a throwing, yelling scene, mind you, but at the very least an intense and focused piss and moan.
The place I work at was having an issue with connecting to an outside payment system. It wasn’t the first time. In fact, I would estimate it has happened four or five times in the past two weeks. And every time it does, it is my job to go speak with guests who are affected and basically do what I can to make them happy. Anyone in a service-oriented business will tell you that this is an unpleasant undertaking, as you are pretty much the recipient of any and all anger and disgust from the guest.
So, knowing what I might be called upon to do again (reminder: my job), I got pissy. I complained about why the company techs couldn’t get it right. And why the company didn’t find a better way of helping us appease upset guests. Or why some of the processes involved are needlessly complicated.
I failed life’s shit test.
You might not know what a shit test is. To be honest, it is somewhat of a misogynistic term, so understand that I use it only for its rather appropriate application to my point. In some books on the female psychology, there are theories about tests or challenges that some women are prone to give potential mates to confirm if those men are “future husband material.” The running theory is that deep down, women want security from their men, and they won’t get that from a guy who loses his shit when things get intense. They want cool, calm and collected. Paul Newman. Not Chris Brown.
The reality is that life is one endless stream of shit tests. You jump from one to the next to the next until the end of the line. How you do in life is largely about how you handle these shit tests, much like how you might end up with a better quality of woman if you pass her shit test.
I went and walked the floor of my job for a minute and came back to the office calmed down. I accepted that there was nothing I could do about the issues. I am not a technical wizard—I can’t jump on a computer and solve the issue. I am not high enough in the company hierarchy to simplify company policy or to make things go faster.
These things were out of my control. So I let them go. A little late—my childish temper tantrum had not been successfully avoided, after all. But at least I didn’t let it ruin my night, or even the next five minutes. I accepted it and moved on.
One of the keys to getting past life’s shit tests is to realize what you have control over and what you don’t. What you can control, make an effort to do so. What you can’t? What else is there to do but to accept it? Skip the anger and rage phases and go straight to placid acceptance, no stress, no negativity.
If you prepare yourself every day with this mental approach, you will be ready to handle life’s shit tests a lot better than I did.