I was running behind.
I was a day and a half into my vacation in the Bay Area, and I needed to be in Santa Cruz by four for a previously scheduled event. It was past 11 in the morning, I still had the Golden Gate Bridge to see, and then needed to make the two hour scenic drive down the 1 Highway. Considering I take pictures like a mad man and stop at just about everything with a hint of beauty in it, I was pushing things.
And I couldn’t get into my car.
I was standing in a parking garage in downtown San Francisco, ready to go, and my key fob had stopped working. This was not unexpected. It had gotten wonky, to the point that I now rarely lock my car, for fear of this exact situation. I had locked it this time because, well, I was leaving my car in a San Francisco parking garage overnight.
I could have gotten angry. Past Matt would have.
Past Matt would have thrown a fit. Past Matt would have yelled and screamed and cursed his luck. His blood pressure would be racing. He would have bitten the head off of anyone near. He would have blamed God, San Francisco, the parking attendant, his bleeping car, Hyundai, even himself eventually.
I have worked hard to remove Past Matt from life. He doesn’t help. He only makes things worse.
I tried the key fob a few times. I pushed the buttons in different directions. I used different objects to push it, in case my fingers weren’t applying the correct amount of pressure. The car stayed silent and closed.
I still didn’t get mad. I started to turn to problem solving. This wasn’t going to be an easy fix, but I needed to stay calm.
I needed to call AAA out to open my car, which could take a while. I had no phone service that deep in the basement parking garage, so I went up to street level and spoke with the attendant. Unfortunately, they did not carry any kind of lock jimmies or other tools for opening cars. So I called AAA and waited on hold for several minutes. Once I reached a service call taker, she had to transfer me to the San Francisco branch. I was on hold again.
I still didn’t get angry. I was settled and resigned and working on solutions to my problems. I was doing, not steaming. I considered my next few hours. Was I prepared to not stop as I drove down to Santa Cruz? Could I arrive a little bit late?
I decided I would not miss the Golden Gate Bridge. I would miss the event or try to attend later, rather than miss the bridge on a San Francisco vacation.
I was prepared to do what I needed to do to get what I could get done, and I would let the rest go.
As I remained on hold, I realized I had left all of my stuff from the hotel just sitting out in the open next to my car, where anyone could see it (and take it). At the risk of losing my connection, I decided I had better go down and at least move my luggage out of sight.
As I turned the corner to the car, I felt the key fob in my pocket. Just for just in cases, I pulled it out and pushed the button. My car lit up, now unlocked!
I was alone so no one could hear me laughing at this odd turn of events. I happily loaded up my car and resolved to not lock it again until I could get a new key fob.
I was able to see the bridge and get down to Santa Cruz. And I saved myself the stress and hardship of pointless anger.
I don’t say this (entirely) as rah-rah me. I’m just pointing out that this was once a problem for me, and that day it was not. I have done a lot of work to try to control myself in these situations, and to accept when things go wrong, without anger. I stay calm and reason my way through problems.
This is something anyone could do if they took the time to do it. Take a deep breath when you feel anger. Allow that little witness in you to guard you against auto-responses which only get you in trouble, or at the very least make you look like a fool.
If I can do it, certainly you can.