I used to throw a massive fit whenever I didn’t get something I wanted. I would yell. I would scream. I would slam my fist into a wall. I would even cry.
It took me years to understand how this made me look. And even more years to learn to control it. Even now, anger is a constant companion of mine, which I must keep at bay through will, mindset and calm.
I recognize it for the weakness it is, and the hurt that it has created in my life and in my relationships.
On Saturday, I saw a kindred soul in Serena Williams. An elite professional athlete. Wealthy. Famous. A wife. A mother. A guiding light for women and little girls everywhere. And probably the greatest tennis player to ever live.
And at the U.S. Open this past weekend, she threw a temper tantrum, like a spoiled child. And like me when I was younger. But we are not 10 anymore. Serena is 36 years old.
I can actually forgive her the tantrum. I am not perfect, and still have plenty of bouts of irrational anger, which I struggle with all the time. She was upset at what she viewed as unfair treatment and it was the U.S. Open singles final.
What I find difficult to forgive is her decision to not recognize the fault in that behavior and to instead point her finger at anyone and everyone else. And a world rushes to support her, the cause celebre of the moment before they move on to whatever the dude in the Oval Office does next.
Serena says that the ref was sexist. And maybe racist. And she is fighting for the rights of women everywhere. It’s not about her at all. She was in the right.
Meanwhile, Naomi Osaka, Williams’ opponent that day, is crying as she receives her rightfully won U.S. Open singles championship trophy. She is devastated. She grew up idolizing Williams. She got into tennis because of Williams. And she might be the next face of the game, at just 20.
And here she was, on her greatest day yet as a professional athlete. She had won the U.S. Open over the very woman she had grown up watching and imitating and rooting for. This should have been a moment of utter elation.
Instead, the U.S. Open officials at the awards ceremony made more of an effort at placating Williams and her childish behavior than they did celebrating her victorious opponent. And Williams is proudly thrusting her chin out at everyone with her own self-righteousness. Never mind that she verbally abused the ref for over ten minutes. Don’t think about the fact that she slammed her racket on the court in anger. Don’t sweat the fact that she was correctly penalized for her coach coaching her during the match, something he admitted to doing.
Serena in one afternoon displayed so much of what is wrong with society. She lost control. And instead of recognizing that she had failed, she blamed everyone else. She deprived the young woman opposite her of the opportunity to enjoy her most storied accomplishment.
And the most terrible thing is, she showed millions of little girls that if you don’t get what you want, just pitch a fit and point fingers. The world will even come save you from yourself if they like you.